It makes sense that we all tend to see things differently.
We have different life experiences, information, judgements, perspectives. interpretations and interests. We all can tend to become fixed and rigid in our expectations and beliefs about what’s “right or wrong”.
Conflict occurs when there is a perception of competing interests between people. Because of our perceived differences, conflict seems to be a natural and normal occurrence in our lives.
The mediation process involves the use of collaborative techniques by a mediator, who is a neutral third party. The mediator informally assists disputing parties in voluntarily reaching their own mutually acceptable settlement of some or all of the issues in dispute by structuring the negotiation, maintaining the channels of communication, articulating the needs of each party, and identifying the issues.
Mediators are committed to a process that is: voluntary; private; confidential; self-determining; creative; practical and flexible. We help you create an informed, mutual decision.
Mediators are not decision-makers or judges. Generally speaking, mediators display the following attributes: patience; acceptance of individual differences; flexibility; creativity/inventiveness; practicality; task-oriented; objectivity; focus; ability to analyse; intelligence; ability to recognize and manage power; strong verbal skills; active listening skills; ability to control the process without dominating the parties; and, confidence in the ability of the process to generate a satisfactory result.
Making the decision to complete this chapter of your life can be a difficult process. Using the services of a professional mediator is the best alternative to litigation. We will help you work through and mutually agree on delicate and sensitive issues like parenting, new partners, asset division and financial support with awareness and understanding. We will help you develop an agreement that you both can support because it will come from you… it is your agreement.
We all know that a family breakup is typically a very stressful, challenging time. The situation can be emotional and volatile. Couples often need help to resolve their differences in a respectful manner.
A major concern when working with couples separating is the effect that the separation can have on their children. Even though people may choose to not be married, they do not choose to divorce their children and often need help in re-forming their relationship from a marriage to being co-parents. Mediation is an informal, respectful method of creating this.
Mediation is a way to resolve disputes through assisted negotiation. A neutral third party, the mediator, helps the parties in conflict develop a solution, called the settlement agreement, which they both support. That agreement is far more likely to continue to be supported as it has been developed by them. The mediation sessions are private, flexible and informal.
Family mediation is a voluntary, consensual process in which the mediator helps clients discuss and resolve family relationship issues. This alternative is positively viewed by the legal system.
Benefits of mediation are:
Where children are involved, the focus is kept on the best interests of the children, to develop an effective plan for the children involved.
The ability to resolve issues in a way that suits the clients and enables them to directly affect the outcome.
An opportunity to speak directly to the other person about issues of concern in a neutral and safe environment.
An opportunity to learn skills for better communication and cooperative problem solving for the future.
Often more cost effective and simpler than court processes.
Can reduce tensions and alleviate an adversarial atmosphere.
The process is private and if closed mediation, confidential.
Mediation promotes open and respectful communication. The process allows the parties in a dispute to examine their interests and concerns, explore a variety of creative options and develop their own solutions in a timely and cost-effective manner. Issues of co-parenting, asset division, support and new partners and blended families will be addressed as required.
If you know of someone who may be going through a family breakdown, suggest that they call or email me to discuss alternatives.
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Family Law Act link:
What you should know about Family Law in Ontario:
Guidelines for Child Support:
Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines:
An excellent guide for families: